In order to date me you must be willing to do the following:
- cuddle and never stop
- hold my hand everywhere we go
- eat gross amounts of food with me
- go on adventures
- wake me up with kisses
- make blanket forts
January: Selfie Olympics
February: Flappy Bird
lets see how the rest of the year goes
March: No Oscar for Leonardo DeCaprio
April: it’s a metaphors, you’re a metaphors, we are a metaphor, if I see another metaphor I’m going to kill someone
Wonder how July is gonna be
i will keep reblogging this each month
say “hey now” in a group of people and see if they respond with “you’re an allstar” or “this is what dreams are made of”
OK SO IN ENGLAND THIS IS WHAT A RUBBER IS
AND SOMEONE ON MY DASH JUST MENTIONED PUTTING A ‘RUBBER’ ON YOUR PENIS AND
I GOT REALLY REALLY CONFUSED
THIS IS WHAT WE CALL A RUBBER IN AUSTRALIA TOO. WE FEEL YOUR PAIN.
SAME WITH NEW ZEALAND.
We don’t have those in America because we don’t make mistakes.
THAT WAS ONE TIME
HE WAS ELECTED TWICE.
So there’s this place in New South Wales called Yass and there is a mcdonalds there and well…..
"my ass"open 24 hours
once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory
You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone
go big or go home